Open for Business

I am sad.  I feel like I just broke up with a girlfriend.

It’s the last day of one season.  A season of perpetual employment, where paychecks came unnoticed, automatically, silently and regularly like waves of money into a bank of sand.  A season of growth and challenge.  A season of nearing insurmountable frustration with people and companies.  People I called bosses, but in real life were nothing but people who held me accountable for numbers, hours worked a week and projects worked on.  Budgets were to be worked within.  I am not a number and my life is not contained within the numbers on a spreadsheet.

So I quit.  Boxes in tow, I left the office hugging the people who remained inside the beige office on this warm late summer / early fall afternoon.  It was an amicable parting, so “goodbyes” were peppered with “good luck” and ” see you soon.”  We all knew it may be the truth as much as we knew it may be a lie we said out politeness.

And now it’s the first day of the next season.  A season of unknown employment, where money will come through hard fought victories and through reaching in directions I never knew I could or would.  A wholly different season of growth and challenge, where I make the day each day and hold myself solely accountable for my actions.  A season of near immeasurable hope, options, opportunities and calamity.  A season of unknowns.  I don’t know what I will be doing.  I don’t know how I will be doing it.  I don’t know how it will all go and whether or not I will be back in that beige office in three months time.  But I hope.

I hope a vision will form, a sign will be seen, a movement will start within myself and blossom into this thing that I have decided to put my education-derived career on hold for to see if I can grow.  I hope this new season is spring.  That even though the it may actually be fall on the calendar, my career, life and endeavors will be entering spring.  A season of growth, life and unknown potential.

As I think about the future and the coming season, I am excited.  I feel as if I am on the cusp of something new, not knowing if it is a mountain to climb or a precipice to fall into.  But I am stepping into the unknown regardless of whether it is a climb up or a fall down.

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This entry was published on April 29, 2014 at 7:07 pm and is filed under Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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